This week I had two really interesting encounters with mums who are thinking about going back to work after having spent eight years at home with the children. Prior to children, both these women were active dynamic working women – one in Dubai, one in Brazil and both chose to take a break from work to raise a family. But that’s where the similarities end.
Mum A is already retraining herself with online courses. She has a vision. She wants to feel fulfilled in her job, but also be able to be present for her little people. So, she has retrained to become a TEFL teacher (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and is only working when the children are at school. She has found a career dynamic that works for her and her family. I love her clarity of vision. She is focused and inspiring.
Mum B is talking in hesitant terms about the idea of going back to work. Her language is peppered with phrases like: Why would they want me back? That industry has changed so much in 8 years. The lack of confidence and belief in herself makes me want to go into SuperMum mode and fix it ! But dealing with the complex range of emotions she is feeling right now will take time to process.
The identity aspect of returning to work is so unrecognised and underestimated. There are many incredible women at the school gates who are bright, capable individuals, eager to contribute to society and re-stimulate their brains (with something non-child related), yet they have become paralysed with fear that they are no longer good enough. Whichever country you are in, check out your national govt website – there are often pages devoted to the actual logistical steps to get women back into the workplace. This is brilliant. [If your country doesn’t have one then check out the UK one to give you an idea of how to navigate it). The only bit missing is how to nudge those women at the school gate to take the next step. How do we empower them with the confidence they once had.
Two quick ways to approach this are to ask yourself:
- Think of what you would absolutely love to do if you couldn’t fail ?
- What one small step could you take this week to nudge you in that direction ?
If you know anyone like this, then listen to them, encourage them. Sometimes all it takes to nudge them on their journey is a supportive friend who is cheering them on. Who do you know who you can nudge ? Xx
Aristo-Chic Working SuperMum Café 